iHate Fanfics!
by The Dark Fiddler
Summary: When Sam says... things... bad things... about Canada, what will the folks at have to say... Err... write? One Shot. Canadian BaconxSpencer!


**Well, if anyone who is used to my work is reading this, you'll probably be surprised that I ventured off of my **_**two **_**working Pokémon Fanfics to write this, but don't worry, it's only a one shot. If all goes as planned, while you read this, all of my stories will already be updated, if my dial-up lets me. (I hate Verizon so much! I'd say they should burn in hell, but then I'd never get DSL!) Anyway, enjoy. BTW, I don't own iCarly, Canadian Bacon, Oscar Myer, , Weird Al Yankovic, White and Nerdy, YouTube, or Canadian Idiot.**

"And that is why Canadian Bacon, although technically ham, is good bacon!" Spencer finished, with a smile.

"Good report Spencer, even if it was supposed to be about the String Theory and its effects on Cold Fusion, Global Warming, racism, and chopped liver." Carly replied. "Anyway iCarly viewers, it's time to go!" Sam pressed a button on the remote, and a groaning sound was heard.

"Oh come on, don't be that way! Despite the pleadings of Freddie's mom, various cats, and the Cuban Government, we will be back next week!"

"And we'll have more food!" Sam pressed another button, and a cheer was heard.

"Anyway, thanks for watching iCarly, and see you next week!"

"And we're off!" Freddie said, taking off his camera equipment. "That's one-hundred and seventy-five broadcasts down, and only three-hundred and twenty-five left until we've hit five-hundred!"

"Yeah! This calls for some Canadian Bacon!" Spencer exclaimed, going to take a bite of the bacon in his hand.

"Spencer!" Carly said, slapping it out of his hand. Spencer exclaimed in pain and stuck his fingers in his mouth.

"What did you do that for?" Spencer asked after recovering from his finger pains.

"That bacon… ham… thing… was raw! There could've been worms of the parasitical sort in there!"

"Well, if there was then I could've sued…" Spencer paused, looking at the label of his Canadian Bacon wrapper, "Oscar Myer. Oscar Myer makes Canadian Bacon?"

"Well," interjected Sam, "you can't expect the Canadians to make everything, can you!"

"Uhh… guys…" Freddie said.

"What is it Freddie?" Carly inquired.

"The camera was still on!" Sam panicked and turned to the camera.

"Of course, I meant nothing against Canadians. I simply meant that there's so much Canadian Bacon, that if Canada made it all, they wouldn't make anything else… like those cheap meds everyone imports!" Freddie gasped and covered his mouth. "Of course, I'm not saying Canada is a drug provider or anything, I simply meant…" Sam struggled to apologize.

"That'sallforthisweek'ssegmentofiCarlyjoinusnextweekwon'tyou?" Freddie quickly interjected. "And we're really off this time… Sam! You've probably cost us thousands of viewers, not to mention insulted the place that makes all of our Maple Syrup!"

"Well I'm so-rry. I thought we were off the air."

"Yeah, I did too, but that's no excuse to insult Canada!"

"Well I'm not a very non-insulting person! It's in my nature to insult people!"

"Yeah, well-"

"Shut up, both of you, or I'll get the water bottle!" Carly screamed. "Now Freddie, Sam, let's go get a bite to eat, then check the message boards to see if anyone noticed that. Maybe everyone had already left the site by then?"

"Maybe, let's go eat, and then we'll see."

"Okay, who wants a Canadian BLT?" Spencer asked.

"Spencer!" Everyone else exclaimed. Everyone ate slowly, dreading the responses they were sure to read when they checked the site. After everyone had finished, it had already been two hours! When Freddie checked the comments, he was surprised that he only saw a few generic "You Suck!" comments, one with a picture of the edit of Wikipedia from Weird Al Yankovic's White and Nerdy music video, a comment that oddly said that "I'm glad you agree with me comrades! Let us wipe those damn Canadians off the map! Oh, I was being sarcastic, BTW", and a comment that said to go to a listed URL.

"Hmmm… that's an odd URL, lots of numbers…" Spencer said.

"Yeah, but I think I've been there once, … I think it's a site where people post fanfictions for other people to read…"

"Well then, click on it!" Carly said. Freddie did, and was brought to a story called iHate Canada. After reading it, the iCarly crew was horrified.

"Why that goddamn little grammar impaired son of a –"

"Hey, keep this K+!" Carly said, interjecting, nearly breaking the 4th wall.

"Oh… my… god! Look! There's already six-hundred and fifty-nine reviews!" Freddie exclaimed! As the gang went on reading more and more fics, and their accompanying reviews, they grew more and more horrified. One songfic even had a link to a YouTube video and an mp3 file of Sam singing "Canadian Idiot" by Weird AL Yankovic, formed by clips from the show. Sam had even said that she almost hated herself after that video.

"Holy crap, this is the biggest mistake I've ever made. We're gonna have to stop iCarly!"

"Hold on, why don't we write our own iCarly Fanfic?" Freddie inquired.

"And what would that do?" Spencer asked. "I don't really see how that would help."

"Well, maybe if we write it well enough, it would convince people that we aren't really that bad."

"Do you really think it'll work?" Sam asked.

"Well, who knows? But here's one good thing that comes from all of this. At least we know that reality show "iLife" won't be a good idea. Imagine if all these idiots had a look at our personal life…" After grueling hours of writing, the iCarly crew had a story that they were sure would change minds. Just for good measure, they had "Germy" make a video of himself crying "Leave Sam alone! I'm serious! She's only human!"

"Now…" Carly said, "We can only hope that this works."

**Well, you don't find out if it works, it's all your opinion. Hey, maybe you can write your own Fanfic on this… a fanficfanfic… that would be odd. Anyway, review please, and maybe check out my other fanfics. And if you like iCarly fics, read iSee the Future (I think, maybe it's iSee the Past. Either way it's by The purple fuzzle.)**


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